80. David West - Expression as Your Compass & Creativity Beyond the Box of Limitations.

✦ We talk about how to show up scared, and why doing it scared is often the only way to break through your fear of being misunderstood or judged.

✦ We explore the inner tension between being sensitive and wanting to express hard truths, and how to lead with love while still honoring your authenticity.

✦ We reflect on cringe, eras, and self-expression, and how letting yourself evolve - publicly and imperfectly—is actually a form of liberation.

✦ We talk about the trap of fitting into a niche and instead practice being his own niche, embracing complexity over branding.

✦ We dive into how social media validation can hijack your creative compass, and the radical power of redefining “success” by how something feels rather than how it performs.

✦ Reflections on the miracle of existence, reconnecting with the inner child, and why play, presence, and nature are spiritual practices in their own right.

………………………………………………
Thanks for stopping by the meadow. Thank you, I love you. I'll see ya on the next one! <3

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Transcript

0:00

Hello everybody and welcome back to In the Meadow with Kiki. I believe that every single one of us is meant to have a slice of this life beyond what our wildest dreams can imagine. And the path to that life is hidden in the very dreams that we hold in our heart, just waiting to be created. I want the meadow to be a break in the clouds, a breath of fresh air to show you what is truly possible in this life. In the meadow, we're done letting life pass us by the sidelines, seeing the same patterns keep us in the same place, month after month, year after year. My mission is to give you all the tools, resources, inspiration and ideas to light a fire under your ass to stop waiting and finally take action towards those dreams that keep you up at night. So get ready to dive into the world of manifestation, psychology, energetics, creativity, and a little dash of conscious entrepreneurship so that you have all the tools that you need to step into your next level dream reality. So join me as we walk down the path of a life beyond our wildest dreams all through the portal of the meadow. Let's go. Hello everybody and welcome To In the Meadow with Kiki, I am so happy to be here and I'm so happy you're here and welcome back to another episode. Today I have a very special guest for you guys today, David West. David is a writer, actor and speaker with a knack for finding depth in the ordinary and humor in the profound. His thoughtful online content has earned him a growing following thanks to skits that explore a wide variety of topics from relationships to spirituality to political satire. As a New Jersey native, David has since made his way through New York, California and Colorado, finally landing in Utah where he lives with his long-term girlfriend in their era impressively charming dog Whipsy. I had the best time chatting with David about all things on his philosophies of life, finding the miracle and the mundane, showing up in the digital age online, doing it scared, the idea of being your own niche, and so much more. So without further ado, let's get into it. All right, David, thank you so much for being on the meadow today. Welcome. Thanks for having me. It's great to be here. I found your Instagram. I mean, probably like eight months ago now. I feel like it's been a lot. It's been a while, but you just like showed up on my For You page one day and like, I just really, really resonate with the things that you post and like the way that you share your wisdom and ideas into the world. Like you have such a like balance of being so like comedic and also so philosophical and Yeah, I I love it. thank you. Thank you again for being on here. Thanks for those kind words. My favorite thing ever is just meeting people on the internet and like getting to connect. So cool. So yeah, if you could just start off just telling us a little bit about like what you do and kind of like your journey that led you into the space of deciding that you wanted to speak on create your own platform and to share your wisdom and your insights into the world. Yeah, so I'm a writer, I'm a freelance writer. I've always been a writer at heart. Both my parents are writers. Well, my dad was a writer. My mom is a writer still at heart. And ever since I was a little kid, that love for storytelling was apparent. You know, would make up stories that would... lead to things going wrong and I would like just kind of pull things out of thin air and run with them because I just kind of had an overactive imagination and even though you know it would kind of It would take its toll on my mother's sanity being like not knowing if I was telling the truth about stuff sometimes, you know. She was still really, really supportive and she was like, you know, she was the kind of mom who was saying, you gotta run with this kind of passion you have. And she told me it was a skill. so, yeah, and then I just, you know, taking writing classes in school whenever I could, you know, like the writing electives, creative writing and such. and screenwriting courses. I fell in love with movies and TV also, mostly movies is like the main medium through which my writing was channeled in like my like teen years and until now as well. Yeah, just I love thinking of things that could happen. And I love watching, I just love entertaining people and seeing the story that I created and that I'm telling kind of work in someone's mind and make them think about it and to kind of just do it stuff to the person to whoever's listening and yeah it it definitely manifests in my life in other ways where like that line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and I'll start just thrusting these made-up scenarios into my own head and into my own reality and I'll be like oh my god Is this person doing this? Is this person thinking this? And the neighbor looked at me funny and I stepped on it and my dog like peed on his grass and now he's gonna come into our house later. You know what I mean? Like the overactive imagination has its downsides and its upsides for sure. But just really happy that I have a passion in something that. makes me so happy and something that with social media and content creation today gives me such an easy way to share my thoughts with people like you who are just so innately interested because you have your own thoughts and your own passions and your own insights and wisdoms to share, which is just other people too, other people who are on there solely as people looking to be entertained for a few seconds. Yeah, just I like providing people with that if I can little slices of joy and wisdom if if if you can call it that at times, you know, definitely. And I also love that you shared about I think that like artists and creatives in general, it's like that is like that like The downside of being so creative is that overactive imagination and also over sensitivity, think that some people, at least for me, the different sides of it where it comes with that, I feel like. Absolutely. I think that's a really important thing to notice, is feel like people who are really creative or writers, artists or whatnot, I think can see that side of themselves as a negative thing. And so just sharing that, feel like it's good thing for people to hear where it's like... I don't know, like that meme, have you seen that meme? That's like this guy on a bus that's like looking out towards the nature. it's like, I feel so much. so, yeah. you think that your like philosophical viewpoints and like just ideas on life was something that kind of came through like your writing and your filmmaking from a younger age or was that something that you adopted like earlier on in your life? Was that that always part of it and then now with your new platform it's something that you kind of tap into in a different way? don't know if that question makes sense. No it does I think yeah. Yeah I think it was something that was kind of there early on. I grew up with just my mom it was in the household it was just her and me. Her and me or would it be... It was just her and me. Yeah, it wouldn't be she and I, it'd her and me. Her and me. There's no dad in the picture, no siblings. And so whenever I had a thought or a question, I had such a wonderful, just human being who... All of her attention was just to me I was really really blessed to be an only child with the mob the mother that I have because she was there to answer everything and to entertain everything and None of her she's a really wise individual herself and so none of her things that she had to offer me wherever ever had to be split amongst anyone else there was you know, it was just us and our pets and It was a really just intimate environment of ideas and inspiration. And she really made me feel, you know, I never felt like I was asking a question that was stupid or silly or out of pocket. was kind of just it was so awesome. know, there's, know, being an only child, you know, I was always at that time, I was always like no one to throw the ball with me. I got no one to teach me how to, you know, do this and that. But. It was so cool to have someone who was just there for me all the time and there to just stimulate and to, you know, to stir up these, these insights and these passions and these questions. So yeah, it was from an early age. I think I just always had, I had a really nurturing environment and I think I was also just a naturally kind of inquisitive kid who wondered stuff and love to like be contrary at times to just love like debating and arguing and You know, I liked being told what position to argue even if it was something I didn't agree with because I liked kind of being backed into that philosophical corner where it's like, I have no idea, you know, and just sometimes it just became like a, you know, just kind of like a fake it till you make it thing in life also with like homework and assignments like, you know, just that imagination and being able to sort sometimes BS but in other times just, you know, just tell a story and it was there from a young age and I was really, I've been really blessed and privileged to have an environment that fostered it and nurtured it and didn't, you know, try to try to mitigate it or steer it in any other kind of direction at all. Like if you go to my mom's Instagram, she all it is is just reposts of every one of my videos. Like it's all it's dedicated to is just should I post something? She has like the repost app or whatever it is. It just reposted directly. She's just my number one, tied for number one with my girlfriend, Sruti. I'm just surrounded by so much love and support and people who've always believed in me and it's been such a blessing and it's made it impossible to feel, it's made it impossible for any of the other negative sides with, you know, people on the internet who only have criticisms and who go out of their way to misunderstand me like. That stuff gets to me sometimes, but when I sit back and really observe where I am and who I'm around and what I'm so blessed to have, there's nothing that I can't complain about. It's just been, it's just where it like the universe slash God just wants me to be chilling and just riding this path. If that's, know, that's what it seems like, but you know, my mind's open. That makes me so happy. Oh my God, that makes me cry. feel like that is just like the biggest, like, I also had really supportive parents growing up who really like told me that like I can do anything I set my mind to and we're always the biggest supporters no matter what crazy idea or project that I was working on. I think that like, yeah, that is just like the biggest blessing ever. Cause I think so many people have to like do so much rewiring work around like, you know, growing up in an environment where it's like the complete opposite, like people, you know, growing up in an environment that are like completely like, just shitting on their dreams and pushing them away from what their soul is calling them to do. Do you think that your support from your mom and your girlfriend and just all the love that you have helped you kind of gain confidence with just putting yourself out there in such a raw way online? I think that's kind of what you just said right now, but I don't know if you can talk a little bit more about it. I think a lot of things that you talk about on your page that I love so much is the fear of feeling cringe, you know? I remember one of your posts was like some of the smallest humans out there, which is so true. The people who are out there like shitting and hating on the people who are actually brave enough to step out there in the world are like not the people we need to be caring about their opinions. But do you think that that was like a good like launching pad that like helped you gain confidence or was that like also an inner working that you had to like break through in order to feel confident to step online in the way that you do? Yeah, yeah, great, great question. So, so like, was that, are you asking like, if that was like an inner thing or if it was something that was like also like environmentally kind of, you know? Yeah, like if you think that that love and support was like, what allowed you to have your confidence or was there also some inner working that you had to do even with that like really healthy launching pad that you had of support and like, you know, was it also, was that like what helped you or was it also something that you had to work through internally to like gain the confidence? I've had to do so much work and I still do. I overthink so much shit. Like I am such an overthinker and one of my biggest fears, ironically for someone who posts on social media every single day and sometimes about like controversial things is being misunderstood. So like it's about, you know, like if I die without expressing these things that are important to me and that I feel like we are here to express to the, if as as long as you feel something to the degree that I do of like an inner voice, which I'm sure you feel, there's nothing that can stop you from saying what you wanna say because you just feel so called to say it. So even though that is so strong, I also have this other side of me that really wants everyone to understand me. And I'm also a pretty sensitive person and I never want what I'm saying to ever be misconstrued for something that it isn't. I never want to offend people. I don't mind offending some people because I think the truth is important and I think the truth is more important for the most part than people's reactions to the truth. But at the same time, I'm a sensitive person and I have kind of a bleeding heart and I feel like I can put myself in anybody's shoes and identify with them if I really try. Always kind of like my girlfriend is like she must be her name's Ruthie. She must be She's really kind and she never like acts tired of it But I know she's sick because it's so many times before I put us on like I make her watch it I'm like, all right Do you think people are gonna misunderstand this? like did I word this correctly like should I try refilm it and say this instead of that and it's definitely something that I'm still working on every single day because I Love people and I love not and I don't want to make people feel bad and feel like I'm attacking part of their identity. But at the same time, know, love isn't just about comfort. It's about, you know, I think this, I think this is true. And you don't have to agree with me. But I want to say this because I think it's true. And I think it would help certain people to hear it. And, and I love you. And so I have love for everybody. And so I'm not gonna not say what's true because if you love somebody you don't want to hide them from what you think is the truth, know what I mean? You don't want to just keep them in the dark and not saying I know everything but if I think something is true and I think it's important and pressing to say it, you know, I gotta try to get over that fear of being, I tried to get over that fear of being misunderstood and just put it out there and just be authentic because there's, you know, there's no, even if saying something you don't mean or honing back on something you mean, even though that may give you some temporary comfort, some social comfort, like that night, like sleeping in bed, or later on in life, when it's time to think, you're laying there on the hospital bed or wherever, you're not gonna be thinking, should've sugarcoated that for that one person more, I should've prioritized their. their thoughts of me over my own thoughts of me. You you're going to be thinking that I wish I had just set spoken my mind more and I wish I had been my authentic self more. And as long as it's coming from a pure place and as long as you're always open to, you know, hearing how you might be wrong or hearing how someone might see something differently. I feel like there's no way to really go wrong. think intention is everything and being open minded to and, you know, receptive to how people are responding to it. I think that's everything. But yeah, environment, my mom is also just kind of an outspoken person. She's always been a little bit less touchy about people's feelings and more kind of just like blatant, new classic, like New Jersey, East Coast, like just gonna say it how it is. And so I got that side of her, I got the outspoken side of her, but I didn't get the, I'm way more sensitive and. some about other people's opinions than she is. But what matters is that I'm not letting it control me because I'm still posting every day and stuff so even though you you just got to do it scared as they say it doesn't matter if you're afraid just don't let the fear stop you from doing what you feel like you have to do. So I'm doing it scared and as I'm doing it scared I'm doing it less scared every single day you know thankfully with the support system. Thank you so much for sharing that. is exactly why I love having these conversations with people. Cause it's like, I look at you as such an inspiration of someone who like, I think that my biggest downfall is just how scared I am about just being misunderstood or putting the wrong perception out there or being just, and I think that like over time, like it's been at the beginning when I started my brand, I like started a whole new page that no one who I knew knew me. And it felt like this like playground of being able to just show up exactly as I wanted to, to find my people in the world that resonated with that. But I think that over time, like over the last few years, like now that I like have this as like my main account, whenever I meet new people, I give them my like Kiki's Meadow account. And like one day I woke up this year and I was like, oh my God, I have reverted all the way back to becoming a personal account almost. Cause like now every time I post, I think about the person that I met at the bar last week, judging me for teaching spiritual concepts and ideas. and I've just recognized how frozen it's made me and just how embarrassed I am to sound cringey or weird and I'm like, what is going on? Like, that's not why I started this in the first place. anyways, I look at your page and the way that you show up as such an inspiration to just give less of a fuck and just show up. And so the fact that you are now like, vulnerably sharing that like... you still care so much and you are so sensitive to people's opinions and you're showing up anyways and you're doing it scared is just so like life-giving to me because yeah, we just don't know what people are going through and like we look at these people online and we just assume that like, oh, it's just easy for them. Like it's just like comes naturally and it's just something that like I don't have and I can't do but like, yeah, I just think that having these conversations just make it just so much more realistic of like what it means, what it takes to show up online and how over time it gets better and easier but it doesn't get better or easier until you do it. scared and to shake you and like, so I really appreciate that. Thank you for sharing. appreciate you for listening and for pulling it out of me, you know, don't always realize this is how I feel until someone asks. So thanks for asking. Yeah. The cringey stuff. Oh man. It's so like, that's like the cringeyness is a little bit, I worry more about being definitely being like offensive than I do cringey. I worry more about being seen as like someone who is invalidating your identity of who you are. Because Cringy, like, oh my God, there's never, I have had so many phases of my life and so many eras. And whenever I'm doing something, I'm always thinking, this is sick, this is dope, this is the furthest thing from Cringy. And then in a year, even less sometimes, I look back and I'm cringing at it. And I can try to just be the ultimate, you know, that meme of Charlie Day and he's got the web of connections and shit. I could just try to be that where it's like, no, this is gonna be cringy there, but if I combine this element of cringe with this thematic, whatever, no, that's never gonna work. I just gotta accept the fact that I'm always going to cringe at, there's always gonna be people who cringe at no matter what I say or do, and no matter what you say or do or anyone says or does, and I'm gonna always cringe too at the end of the day in the past, and all cringing means is that you're growing. You know, like it'd be worse if you're looking back being like, I'm that exact same person. I think that's exactly the same thing that I thought of of it when I did it. No, like I'm thinking everything's different. I'm looking back at things and I'm thinking some things I thought were super lame. I think now are freaking sick. And some things that I thought were so cool. I'm looking back and I'm like, how the hell did I do that? And not be fucking how was I so not embarrassed of that? Yeah, but it's just, you know, my mom also was such a pivotal force. I I kind of just had the urge to express myself from a young age. Like I would, I would just like, I had like long hair that I like bleached and I put like a feather in it and I just wore like, like women's clothes and I got so bullied for it. people were like, my friends were just like, why don't you just like not do it? And you won't, cause I hated getting bullied cause I'm sensitive. And I was like, oh. But they're like, why don't you just not do it? You will get bullied if you stop. And I'm just like, I can't stop. Like, I'd rather, as much as I hate getting bullied, would rather like, I would rather die than like be someone that I'm not, you know? And if I'm, and now the tides of culture are kind of shifting. And now like, it's like, it's cool to like, you know, express yourself as a guy and to, you know, bend the fucking stupid borders of gender expression and all that and clothing and self-expression and stuff. you know, something you can't think about it too much because you're always going to be doing something that you think is cool that one day won't be cool and vice versa. Something you think today is lame, you're going to look back tomorrow and be like, oh my God, that's like the sickest thing ever. you know, perception is just funny. And it's hard because, you know, you and I are both putting ourselves out on the internet for the entire world to see on public accounts. And so we want to like, you know, we want to make sure people are seeing us for who we are, but you can't let that get in the way of being who you are. And the easiest way to see you as who you are is just be it. Just be like, this feels right today, I'm gonna post it today. Hopefully it resonates with the right people and stuff. As you gain a little bit, as your follower account expands ever so slightly over time, you start being like, oh my gosh, the majority of my followers I've never even met. Like I can't try to predict what they would like and not like because when I had like 1600 followers or 1300 followers less than a year ago, I was like, I basically knew almost all of them. And so I was like, okay, I got a cater. got a I don't want to offend him, but I don't want to offend her. And I want to like have everyone like me. But now it's just like, I don't know who the heck anyone really is. So I'm just going to post what's me and you know, I can just assume that who they are is someone who resonates at least a little bit, you know? Definitely. I feel like that's also really inspiring advice because I think that it's easy to get like, yeah, just really caught up on like expectations and just thinking what people want to hear. And then it kind of, I think over time just kind of waters down like the reason that we started all in the first place of like that self-expression piece and like, and then things constantly change too, where it's like, yeah, some people might want something this time and then it changes and then you're kind of stuck in the middle of it. And so I think there's a balance of like, yeah, being aware of like your audience, but also just posting what you want because then your audience that you're that is in alignment is going to find you. Exactly. What was the moment? How did it feel like the first moment that you're a video of yours like really got reached? Because like you have some incredibly like big videos that like got so much views and so much reach. the first time that that happened, like what did that feel like? Like, did it feel like, scary or like exciting or like your nervous system being like, what is going on? Because I think that is a really weird human experience that like we're not built to like, be seen in that way. And I think that it can be incredibly dysregulating. But also, it's really exciting and like a win too. So just curious to hear what your experience was and that first happened to you. Yeah, great question. Honestly, like It's sorta, it was sorta like a cool main character kind of moment. I kinda was just like looking at my phone and I was kinda just like, I was kinda just like, yeah, I mean like this was the goal, like, you know, onward, you know, like, don't know. It was, I was really like happy and I was like, you know, to my girlfriend and my mom, I was like, look, it's like, it went viral, whatever. But inside I was kinda just like, like, let's keep it going. Like, you know, it's gonna happen. that's, I don't know, I'm a big believer in just like, speaking things into existence and to just having faith in your your visions and the law of assumption and the law like I you know ever since I wanted to make movies as a little kid and To be a writer and a director and now an actor I kind of just had that thing where I was just like it's gonna it's just a matter of time like it's it's always felt like a sure thing It was just kind of like a matter of like what what the means will be But then when it happened, I was kind of just like this, this feels like, you know, I can't, not too surprised. Like I thought something was going to work. Something's got to give at some point, because I was pouring so much time and energy into it. And so I was kind of just like, let's, let's keep going. And let's just keep marching on. And yeah, it's interesting when sometimes it's like, you know, when I've back to what I was, what we were just talking about, about being perceived and being like offensive or controversial or whatever. Sometimes I thought like, I just stick to content? Should I just stick to pure comedy, like pure social commentary, like, you know, stuff that's impossible to get mad at. But then something will happen in the news or some world leader will do something atrocious and I'll see so many people being manipulated and taken advantage of and people being pinned against each other. And I'll be like, dude, like, I can't not like use this. can't not like write something and say something about this. And so then when you're posting stuff like that, and that kind of stuff goes viral, which it tends to actually be the controversial stuff, because that's what people are in the comment DMing people about. Sometimes it's like, all right, now I got to like, look at these comments and stuff like that, and to try like engage and stuff. And then that's a whole nother can of worms with being understood and all that. But just seeing the numbers and stuff, when something goes viral, it's like, It's like, wow, like you can almost be desensitized to it. And I think our whole culture is so desensitized to that because I will get like, I'll still have a video nowadays, like that, you know, not everything is like a, a numerical hit. And so I'll get, I'll have a video and I'll get like, like last week, something or two weeks ago, it got like 40 likes. And I was like, man, this got like no likes. And then I was just like, 40 individuals, the number. How have we become so desensitized to how much one person is and how much their support means? It's beautiful because it's this awesome thing where if you get a lot, you can adapt the perspective of, it's so many likes, it's so awesome, but if you get a little, it's not like that's, like it's all a lot. Even if you get six or five, imagine five human beings walking up to you being like, this was sick, yeah, this was cool. I really resonated with this. I like this. I'm it's a heart button. Like it's so we desensitize to all the wholesome and warm and whimsical and and you know, love expressing factors of it. Like there's a heart button on what I had to say and five people press the heart. Like, how can that be a failure whatsoever? You know, it's it can really be easy to I think the whole culture is so desensitized to it, especially, you know, like Gen Z and Millennials too like, know, when you know, like my mom's generation they're on Instagram a lot too actually they're like my mom is on reels all the time, but they don't have that thing where they're like, oh like five legs. It's like, I don't know. I think it's just because everything moves, you know, the younger the generations, everything just moves way quicker for them. There's just so much excess and so much constant stimulation that one little each little thing, each little expression of support. means so much less because it's against a backdrop of so much more. But like you were saying, I don't think we were meant we weren't like meant we weren't like designed to live like that at all. We were not we were designed to be in small, intimate, in person communities. And the way I look at it is if we can't do anything about technology, like it's here to stay social media is here to stay, make, you know, find a way to use it positively. And if people are going to be on their phones, I want to have a say in that if this what they scroll across, I wanna be something that is positive and helpful if they're just gonna scroll. So, yeah. That is so good and I just need to hear that again and again and again because I think that it's like, yeah, it's so easy to get in this comparison and like, especially comparison with yourself. Like the first thing I was gonna say is like, I think a thing that like, when I was, you know, a couple of year or two ago, like when I got like my most viral video, like. that was like amazing and then I always kind of felt like I was like reaching to have that happen again and like it also reminded me of like external validation period of like okay like if I'm gonna allow this viral video to be the meaning of what makes my work worthy and good then that also means that I'm gonna give everything else that so if any hater or anyone says something negative it's like what's the difference like it's it's really owning in on like what this means to me and how that can mean to other people and like you said I think that like it's so funny how like even this ego thing of like this feeling that like other people are gonna see my videos not getting much reach like as if that's something that's like embarrassing or like something that it's like oh well I'm like not doing as good right now but like you said it's like if 20 people if 10 people could have seen that video and it could have impacted them in their days and like made their day a little bit better or change their perspective about an idea and led to a conversation that person had. It's like, that is so huge. That is so massive. And I think that like, what you were saying about how when you did get reach and you were like, awesome, okay, cool. This is what I was like, this is what I was planning for. This is what I was working for. Like, let's keep it going. Like, I'm doing it because there's something within me that needs to be expressed. And this is like a creative process that is this like, devotion that I have a daily devotion of using my voice and expressing myself and like putting my work out there and like Just going for it again and again and again regardless of it going viral or not going viral and like I think that's something that I'm really trying to retrain myself to do about taking away like the branding aspect of it and business out aspect of it for myself and solely looking at it in the lens of like what within me needs to be expressed and like if something's gonna help me like how can that help another person even if it's one person that saw the video And so I really appreciate that perspective. I appreciate yours too. Yeah, views is a great point. It's like even if 20 people like it, more than 20 people saw it and your whole point was to put something positive out there. So even though 20 likes still a lot, you got even more people who saw it, you know, even if they didn't think to like it, still it's still getting out there. And so the people who do like it is like you said, like giving love like they decided to do that. Yeah. So yeah, really appreciate that. Do you think that, like I know we were talking a little bit about like the past versions of yourself and whatnot, but do you feel like you've gone through like a significant like identity shift in the last few years or like in the last season of your life that kind of led to you showing up in a different way in your life? And if so, like what may have made that have looked like, if that makes sense? Yeah. Identity shift, yeah. I wouldn't say identity shift. Because I kind of, I don't know, I kind of I feel like identity revolves sort of around like categorization and, you know, inherent and like this isn't a word used negatively, but judgment, just judgment in general and like assessment and like this means that and then separation and kind of that illusion of like, I'm this way and I'm not that way. And so I've always kind of tried to view myself as like a really fluid kind of being. And I just really, I don't like boxes and I don't like category. don't, it's helpful. And I, I love like, I love making lists of like my favorite, like, you know, like songs and artists and movies and stuff. But when it comes to categorization of people and like souls and minds, I've always kind of resisted that, especially for myself. Because I don't know like I'm truly all over the place and the things that I think and believe and I have met people who have fallen into a certain societal and social boxes who are Just a vat like who are so colorful and whose box at first glance the box that they appear to be in that society has given them and that they've even willfully accepted onto them just does so just does no kind of justice to them and just completely fails to summarize and to symbolize who they are and everything that they are and what they can bring to the table and just what they think and feel and who they are. So I guess not identity shift. I've had a lot of changes in kind of just mental and spiritual health. patterns and stuff like that and things that I've been good with and then not good with and trade-offs and stuff and I think I'm coming on in January I will hit three years of no alcohol and one thing that I think has unfortunately happened from not drinking is that I more things tend to like not roll off my shoulders the same way that they used to And I think because when alcohol was a part of my life and I was never like a big drinker, just a social drinker, like weekends and stuff with friends always. But I feel like as long as my body, like alcohol was something that my body was like familiar with and used to and that it could expect, you know, every week or every two weeks, I kind of just like let things kind of just like, I kind of was just a bit more like chill and malleable. And now because I don't have that in my life, I feel unfortunately. a little bit more of an impulse to control my environment and to control my surroundings and things kind of just like get to me a little bit easier than they used to. But there's plenty of things that I'm better with now than I used to be, know, so always little trade-offs and shifts and stuff like that. But yeah, I used to be a lot, I used to just kind of like, I don't know. I'm at a stage in my life right now where... Yeah, I kind of just like have this impulse to control stuff and this desire to, you know, nitpick my environment and make it, you know, like fit exactly what I want it to be, which isn't who I want to be. But yeah, it's, yeah. The ego needs obstacles because then you don't know who you are if there's nothing to fix or there's nothing to like overcome or there's no projects or tasks to address. And so I try to be more mindful of that and be like, all right, this isn't an actual issue. This is just me wanting something to identify with and wanting a problem to identify with and you know. put in hopes of being able to identify as the person who solved it. But I don't have to be someone who's walking around solving problems, you know, my life for the for the most part has very few considerable problems like I am very blessed and very privileged and I could also just freaking chill if I wanted to. So I try to keep that in mind and to listen to separate the voice that's speaking from me, because we're not the voice that we hear, you know, that we're the one hearing the voice. So that's something that I'm trying to do more lately. Oh my gosh, so many good things and I'm trying to write down all the ideas, the tangents that I could go off from there. Well, first of all, I guess I'll comment on the drinking aspect of it because I also had a similar, I think a little over a month ago, a month and a half ago, I also had a moment where there was just so much chaos in my life. It literally felt like the universe was just throwing curveball after curveball and like I just noticed that like I felt the most relaxed when I was like, you know, just relaxing and like having a drink with my friends and whatnot. And like, it got to the point where I could see that turning into like a self soothing tendency that like was becoming an avoidant thing where I wasn't really like, I would have so much bursts of anxiety where I didn't know where they were coming from necessarily. And so I also did like a not comparing to your journey, obviously, but like I decided to like do like a month, like no drinking challenge. It was like, One of the hardest months as well where it felt like for the first time in my life, like I just started having to face everything like head on where I wasn't like, I couldn't really run away from it and it was so painful, but it really did feel like I was able to just move through and like face head on the things that my body and my mind were like asking me to move through. anyways, I just have good things to say about recognizing patterns and I think that was a really important thing for me, that's redefining my relationship to alcohol and redefining all of that. Anyways, just wanted to mention that. But I also wanted to talk a little bit about your concept of the niche, I guess. Talking about your response about identity, think is such a freeing answer. Because I think that as much as I love to think about identity and stepping into a new identity and like... breaking through your next level self and whatnot, think there's such power in recognizing that we are all such multifaceted people and humans that can ebb and flow and change at any day, at any moment. So I really appreciate that perspective of like, yeah, like hesitating to put those boxes on. So my question, I guess, is how you view specifically taking social media as that container to talk about it. But yeah, like not needing to fit into a niche to still like reach people and make an impact and like how you can go against that, if that makes sense. I don't know. Let know if that question makes sense. No, does. Yeah. And that goes back to what we've been talking about, about how you can sit there and try to estimate and assume, you know, what's the perfect thing to post and what's the perfect kind of image to fit into and the style to have and everything. But at the end of the day, you know, it goes back to just you being you and if you build your account by playing into these like a formula that is not authentic to you, then you're just setting yourself up for living in that box that is not even you like you're not even living in a box that fits you because like say you get like you know like a few like 10k followers by being this version of you that you that takes effort and takes you know, like intention and mindfulness to be like, all right, like I gotta, you gotta fit into this for these people. And then as soon as you have that following that you wanted, you got the following, but who are they following? They're not following you. They're following this version of yourself that is catering to them. And the thing that sucks is that you're stuck being this version of you, but they could wake up tomorrow, be a different version of them, and you're never gonna know that. And so you're just doomed and you're just screwed because you're stuck being this version of you that's not real for an audience that- A is might not even like it tomorrow and B is never gonna get a chance to follow you for the real you and you're almost kind of like doing a disservice to the people that you're that you're broadcasting your soul to because you're saying this is because you're making it seem like it's you like you got your name on the account you got your face on the content but you know if you're not being you then what's the whole point of it because you might as well just you know you might as well just just watch someone else's content with them because you're not interested in putting yourself out there clearly. But yeah, it's like Rick Rubin, the music producer, always talks about it where it's like the best art is made when the audience, when the artist is not thinking about the audience at all. And I am so not at that level yet whatsoever because I am always still thinking about the audience. I'm doing it scared. Like I'm not... I'm not conforming to what I think the audience wants, but I'm still not like, I'm still not, you know, I'm still somewhat thinking about it and I'm still kind of like trying to guess and estimate what and predict how people are going to react. But yeah, it's, it's what Did I, what was the, can you say the question again? No, that's perfect. Yeah. No, my question was just that idea of like fitting into a niche when online. niche. A niche. that's what I've had because I love, I love writing and acting is what I love to do. just speaking to people is what I love to do and entertaining them is what I love. But there's not like a subject that I love, that I don't love. know, I love politics. I love global affairs. love global affairs, but I love talking about them because global affairs suck because half of them are awful. So I don't love global affairs, but I love talking about them. And I love relationships and I love spirituality. And I love philosophy and just comedy, just like silly observations and relationships and stuff. And so I've had these thoughts where I'm like, dude, like, maybe my account would blow up so much quicker if I was just that guy who made videos about little social, you know, quirks and silly observations about things that everyone can relate to. And there's no way that anything's gonna really get under anyone's skin. And then I was like, maybe I should just stick to the heavy-hearted stuff and just only do that kind of political stuff and the kind of just down with the system stuff. I'm not any one thing, and so I don't wanna do any one thing. And I feel like a lot of people are, more people are like that than we think. not no one fits into one box naturally and so they're not in a box and so why would they want to watch someone in a box you know I feel like once the people who are putting themselves out there on the internet like me and you and creating stuff once more of us start acting free and just fluid and all over the place and not defined or held down by any one you know label or limit then it's gonna it can help other people do the same and it can you know I hope that someone out there who's also wanting to be an artist or creator of some kind, whether it's just whether he wants to be a painter or a singer or whatever, or even a content creator, just an artist in general. I hope that they can see, you know, my things and maybe watch one video and be like, huh, this guy must be like this. And then the video I post next day is like, wait, what? He's totally contradicting himself from the other day. Maybe I can contradict myself too and be and just, you know, share different different parts of myself. with each passing day and there's nothing contradictory about that because it's only contradictory if we're like little, you know, computer characters like NPCs who have no souls or personalities but there's nothing contradictory about contradicting yourself. It's because we're made to mirror, we're made to balance and we're made to have some of this and some of that and I feel like if people were less scared of contradicting themselves we would have such a more... just the collective consciousness would just be so much higher and we would be Sharing so many more things from our hearts and we'd have so much good We'd have a lot more good faith towards each other because we'd be like he's sharing that because it's true to him and I'm gonna share this because it's true to me and you know, I feel like I really love that concept of you are the niche like, you know, that is just one of those things that I keep remembering and remembering and remembering and telling myself whenever I try to whenever I find myself trying to squeeze myself into a box, you know what I mean? Definitely. And I think that's so freeing and also just what people are craving nowadays too. People are just feeling so disconnected with social media. We're connected to everything and everyone. And I think that people do crave that more raw realness of like what a human being really is. Like your friends are multifaceted and you you can't, you know, in your real life, it's harder to put the people that you love into boxes the way that we do with like social media personalities or whatnot. And so I... really appreciate that perspective and it helps me a lot with like recognizing like different shifts of where I am in my life and like craving to talk about different things like my podcast or whatnot and like having this like unsaid feeling there's an expectation to like do it the same way that I did two and a half years ago and that somehow doing something different would disappoint people but remembering that like you are the niche and also that your dream audience is hungry for the things that you want to talk about and that you want to share you know and there might be a couple people who might fall off and Find another person that is more in line with what you used to be but that the only way that you're really gonna attract the people that do fuck with you is by just posting things that you fuck with, guess, if that makes sense. Not everyone will fuck with you, but the ones who fuck with you will really fuck with you and they'll fuck with you, not their idea of you. Because their idea of you will be you and you'll all be on the same page. Exactly. Like he said, not falling into the trap of building a platform and an audience of things that you don't even like. don't even- not that don't like, or maybe you don't like anymore or whatnot. So, yeah, I really appreciate that perspective. My next question is from this quote that I saw from your page that was like, it goes, defied odds of 1 four hundredth trillion to exist no matter how you spin it you are miraculous and I just want to ask like if you have your own practices that can help you like tap into that and like remind yourself of that when you feel disconnected from it because it's like I think just living in a reality in life and society that we live in it's so easy to just get bogged down by the day to day and just like rhythms and routines and work and what we have to do that we forget that we are this like rock in the middle of the universe that was born and like, yeah, if there's anything like going to nature or continue spiritual practices, like what helps you remember that spark of remembering that we are a miracle? Oh my gosh, we really are. Definitely time in nature and just time in nature is like the best, but even just time outside, time outdoors at all, like just stepping outside of the house and being in fresh air and just having no physical barrier between you and the sky and the sun and space and everything and just, you know, just breaking down barriers and putting yourself out there. And yeah, I love nature. Camping is my favorite thing to do with my friends and it's one of my passions and I never feel more grounded and back to who I am. I never feel more refreshed and healthy and just ready to keep on living life than. when I get back from a camping trip and obviously when I'm on the camping trip, but it just recharges me and it lasts for, it can last for a really long time. And also just kind of just, you know, thinking about what, another thing that helps me is I'll think about how much I cherish people in my life, how much I cherish my girlfriend and my mom and my best friends and all of my pets that I've. had and lost and still do have and even just passing strangers and neighbors and people I barely know and just how much I cherish them and how much beauty and uniqueness and divinity and how much of God I see in them and just know that even though I can't see it in myself, it has to be there too because I'm also a human. I know I'm the same animal as them. and same species, same planet, same air that I'm breathing, that we're breathing, and kind of just taking my love and how much I adore and cherish other souls and just being like, all right, I'm cut from the same cloth as them, so I gotta have something, there's gotta be some special stuff about me as well, you know, and to just remind yourself that, you know, you are, yeah, just cultivating that, that. gentle way of viewing yourself, you know, and, you know, we're not, we weren't designed to live the lives that we're living in this, in this system and in this structure. I think we were, some people say we weren't designed to like, be productive or like produce things or work. And I think that, I think that we were, I mean, because like, I love creating stuff and I love like working on things that I enjoy. So, but in terms of the structure, we're not. made to have this kind of structure where, you know, we're giving our money to people who are doing stuff with it that we find absolutely abhorrent and we don't want them, we don't even want that thing to exist, let alone we don't want to be paying for it. And just, you know, I'm not gonna go into all the fucked up things about the world and the system that we live under, we both know. But also just being like, I've been, I didn't ask to be born. I was, you know, I'm here. And I had no idea what this place was. I still almost have no idea what it was because it's so freaking beautiful and amazing and confusing and bewildering. But I'm doing my best. I'm waking up every day with pure intentions, with a pure heart. I'm always trying to do right by the people around me, the people I share the world with. And, you know, just really getting in touch with your inner child again and just trying to hear that voice. And I'm a big believer in the whole inner child, you know, like concept and philosophy of there is like a child in all of us who wants to be heard and all of our, many of our decisions just go back to wanting to feed that and to acknowledge and to validate that child. And so just, you know, making sure you're doing stuff, just playing, making sure you're doing stuff that is for your soul, you know, and just playing with my dog and... playing ping pong with friends and going outside and biking around and doing things just for the sake of doing them. Just play. Just taking care of yourself and being gentle with yourself and balancing passion and creativity and wanting to do this and write this script and film this and edit this and post it and to collect thoughts from it. But it's also be like, right, I'm a human being. just a soul in a flesh suit who will be who I don't even know how many times I've been here before and how many different flesh suits I've inhabited before and just remembering all this and just be like, all right, you know, I hope I live for a lot more, a lot longer time. Hope I'm around for a long time, but I might not be and like, just kind of like that old classic thing of just like nothing's nothing is guaranteed and you know. Stop trying to fix everything and just, you know, realize that this is it. This is the present moment is all there is. And it's all that there has to be because everything that you could ever need is right here right now. And it's something that I really struggle to live by, but I think it's something that is so 100 % true. And what I try to do to make myself, you know, feel like myself and feel grounded and stuff like that and to feel, you know, back to what you were saying, like I am a miracle, to remind myself that my life is miraculous. And I think that there's too many bridges that we've constructed between the spiritual community and everyone else, like people who don't identify with that and don't believe in any kind of divine power, because we're all, we still find so many things in common, you know, like there are still, you know, these people who don't believe in God or the universe or whatever, they're still interested in. kindness and compassion and community and mental health and, you know, helping each other out and building a strong foundation together. And who like it's we're all just have a different like word for it, you know, like they'll call it they call it the placebo effect. We call it prayer. And like, or meta, you know, other people call it meditation. It's just, it's all just the same thing just with different languages and different words. And that's why language is so limiting, you know, like a lamp is meant to we we've thrown the word lamp at it but it's so much more than that just like we've thrown the word tree at tree but even just the word tree and what that triggers in our brains of all our concepts and preconceived notions and ideas and understanding standings of what a tree is it's still so limiting compared to the essence of the tree and you know there's no real way to know that especially through language you just have to kind of The only way to know it is to feel a connection with it and to just see yourself in it and to, you know, feel the tree and to feel anything that you're trying to understand, which is why I feel like, you know, it goes back to not labeling too many things and not being too obsessed with categorization and boxes and definitions and stuff, you know. So good. That was amazing. Well, thank you for asking these awesome questions that are really making me just freaking think and, you know, come, you know, realize things I didn't even know that I thought. So incredible. just feel like it's just that exactly what you just said right now. It's just a reminder of like why this is my favorite thing in the world is just having people like you on this show just to like, God, to pick at your brain and to hear all this like just such wisdom, like I really feel like when walking out of this conversation with such a new perspective on like yeah, your version, your perspectives on the idea of boxes and labels and like the way that you just expressed like saying a lamp, like that's lamp right there, but it means so much more than what we could even imagine that could fit into a title like that. like, I think when it comes to ourselves and our identity and like our place in the world and like, I think that it comes from this primal desire to fit in and to be loved and to be a part of community and to be a part of the tribe and that I feel like it's just so detrimental to our freeing, our freeness of being able to just show up in the world in a way that feels in alignment to like what our soul's calling is. yeah, so I appreciate that so much. Appreciate you. I think as we are wrapping up this episode, is there a book that you could say was a really impactful book in your life that you could just speak on? It's okay if nothing comes to mind, it's Yeah, yeah, I freaking love books. All right, I got a few. Well, my favorite book of all time, it just moved me. I wouldn't say that it like, it's just the most, oh, it's so freaking beautiful. It's called The Cat Who Went to Heaven. Gosh, you know, it is my favorite story that I've ever read. I always forget the name of the author though, because. It's kind of just one of those author names and I feel like writers have such like particular names that kind of blend into other writer names. don't know. Totally. I am bad at- The Cat Who Went to Heaven, what was that? I'm just, I'm personally just bad at remembering the names though, the author. Again, names are limiting, you know? I'm so much more than David and your first name is Kiki, right? It's Kiara, but Kiara. Kiara, Kiki's Meadow, yeah, cool. And you're so much more than Kiara. That's a great name though. Also, one book that I really liked that I thought was great for kind of bridging the gap between spiritual minded practices and kind of just more like, you know, people because I have a lot of friends, you know, I'm from like the East Coast and I have a lot around a lot of, you know, like liberal people who don't really lean into the spiritual and kind of like religious and God based stuff. And so I've been around, I have a lot of atheist friends and so I'm always trying to kind of find ways to kind of bridge that that philosophical gap. And so this book called The Undefeated Mind is great. It's about this doctor who is a practicing Buddhist, and he goes through just these real cases he had with real people that who he helped through a combination of spiritual and science and scientific practices. And it really shows that like, spirituality and science are so not separate whatsoever, and that they literally like science like in many ways like proves spirituality and and vice versa and the way I see it like if I just don't see like I don't even math like I just feel like math in general like and these rules that make sense no matter how they're applied that to me just sounds like it was you know created by some amazing designer um and uh you know Tik Na Tahn is one of my he's uh one of my probably like my all-time favorite writer It's just, you know, like nonfiction, Zen, like practice, Zen-oriented spirituality and kind of Eastern philosophy, bridging gaps. Again, he's got a book called Living Buddha, Living Christ, and it's all about how, you know, the tenets that Jesus, the tenets of Jesus' teachings and the Buddhist teachings are so similar. And I just love, I love works and I love you know, pieces of media, movies, TV, books, songs, whatever that just are all about bringing people together and showing that things are not separate. Because I don't think separation is real, honestly, like at all. And yeah, take the time. I love The Alchemist, like such a sick book, because it's I'm so big into that hall that, you know, your energy creates your reality and just visualization and, you know, like Ben, I think we're all like, I think that I think that the same way that God created the universe, I think that we all have that power in us to create universes of our own. And like when an artist creates a piece of painting, like that is him being a God of sorts. Like, and when you create a story or a book, that is you channeling your inner God. And I just, love that book because it's all about, you know, it's all about alchemy and the materialization of energy and and thought and you know just kind of manifestation and stuff. I love manifestation, dig into manifestation. Love, that's why I feel so connected to some of the things that you post. feel like I also really relate to like my journey as my audience knows is that like I consider myself an atheist like my entire young adult life until I was 19 and like I did mushrooms for the first time and like had this like crazy spiritual awakening that like changed the course of my entire life and like I think that I come from a basis of being like, I used to just be like, well, it has to be science. It needs to be all rooted in science. And then the deeper I went into my spiritual journey, I was like, oh my God. Whatever flavor you resonate with, there's everything that you need to know that proves every other branch. Everything that spirituality teaches can be taught through neuroscience and quantum physics and psychology and then vice versa with spirituality. I think that like, My biggest intention when I started Kiki's Muddle in the first place was that I felt like this work was so valuable that it was such a bummer that only people who consider themselves spiritual were able to tap into this. And I really wanted to create a platform that was more inviting, I guess, while still being true to my deeply spiritual self. And I think that's also something I've been trying to get more comfortable with is just claiming that part of me and just going full force into that. But I just feel like there's just so much of this that's just like... It's magic and I just want everyone to be able to tap into it. I think that like, like you said, language is so important where it's like, especially living in LA, I think that like so many people can just roll their eyes so heavily at like terms and ideas that are used. And even the word manifestation is so loaded, you know, where it's like, I used to try to like dance around it where I'm like, you know what, fuck it. don't care. Manifestation is what it is, but like craving that there's other words that we could use to like. Describe like the actual superpowers that every single one of us holds so Superpowers is a thing god. I wish we had a whole another podcast just to talk about mushrooms, too They've been so integral to my journey as well, you know, they've they changed they changed the the way I see the world for the better they didn't change it but they kind of they unlocked a new perspective, know, and I just wish everyone could have it have that experience because like I know people who I just wish I could take everything that happened to me in those moments and just, you know, project it into their soul and stuff. But yeah, mushrooms are the best. They really break, they really just take all the ways you limit and categorize and classify and all that just evaporates, you know? And you feel the oneness of everything. And you feel like that love and that longing to go. like to reconnect with where you came from and you know that you know that a kid you came from somewhere that is conscious and like powerful and you know that it's it's not just materialism you know that there's something going on you know you just know yeah definitely and like also even like that reminds me of just my perspective of like i am incredibly spiritual like that's my belief system and like i own that completely but i also look at like you people who like who may not resonate as much with it where i'm just like oh hey like When I talk about like mama, like me and my best friend always call it mama, like universe, like God, like, but like I look at like mother earth and nature and like, and I'm like, okay, like regardless what your spiritual beliefs are, it's like, what is this intelligence that we see operating in every facet of reality? There is this divine intelligence that is running the universe in the world that like I believe is a loving intelligence, you know, and like everyone has a different like perspective of what that can mean. But like, even if you don't believe in God and don't have that spiritual lens that you look at the world through. There's just something so magical when you just ponder on how we ended up here in the magic. again, that's a whole, we can dive into that part two episode that maybe we can have in the future talking about. I'm so down, yeah. I'm so down. So yeah, I think I will end this on a question that I ask all my guests, which is, what is one word? that you are gonna take with you for this next season of your life that symbolizes the energy that you are either stepping into or owning in this chapter of your life and you can take a moment to think about it. It can be more than one word, but yeah, the person that comes to mind. One word is pronoia. I'm not sure, yeah, you know pronoia? I do, I've not, don't, that's the surprising thing I do, but yeah. It's like the opposite of paranoia. So it's the belief that the universe slash God is always conspiring in your favor. And just that faith and my impulse to control. and whatever may happen in my life, whatever may happen with my, you know, content creation and my journey of self-expression and creating art and putting myself out there and stuff and trying to make all my dreams come true and everything. things happen and, you know, life takes turns that you didn't think it would and occurrences unfold and I really just want to inhabit this belief that it's just that this trust in this faith in the fact that it's a loving, that it's a loving source, that it's a loving power, and that it's always looking out for me, even if it seems like it's totally not. And even if it seems like it's doing the opposite, like our understanding is so is so human and so flawed and mortal and based on such fleeting material materialist. uh, circumstances that are just so tiny in the grand scheme of things and really just pro noia and assuming that everything is happening for me and not against me or not to me and that things are happening for me and through me and that I'm just a vessel for, you know, that divine power to use me however it wants to use me and just trusting the process and trusting Everything, trusting the universe, trusting God, trusting that I've always got guardian angels watching over me. And even if I had a whole big plan to do this and it didn't happen, and I feel like I'm steered in this direction that I didn't want to go in, you know, just trusting that it's all going the right way and that something was going to happen over there that wasn't supposed to happen. And so now I'm just over here and I'm not leaning on my own understanding, not leaning on my own impulses to control and to nitpick. And just trust, just trusting God and trusting the path and divine trust and faith in divine timing, really. Oh my God. Amazing. What a perfect way to end this episode. Thank you so much, David. has been amazing. I'm like just so giddy that we got to connect and have such an amazing conversation. I feel like it's always nerve wracking. too. Meet a person for the first time online and just be like, come on my podcast. like, it's just so safe knowing that we, you know. have such similar ideas and perspectives and I'm just so grateful that you were open to coming on the show. I'm so happy. Thank you for asking me. for not. Thank you for assuming that I, yeah, like I am so down. I'm always down. Yeah. I love talking to people about important things. You know, I love, you know, community and I love, you know, we have similar intentions and ways of seeing things. And so, yeah. Thank you for asking me and thank you for hitting send on the DM and for, you know, not being, you know, I'm, I can, you know, I'm sometimes I'm afraid to, you know, ask people to do stuff. So thanks for not being afraid and for just freaking sending it and for giving me the opportunity to be on my first podcast. I I want to do way more. Definitely. I see that for you so much. You're so great. Like so effortlessly, the way that you just go off on the ideas is just the best. think that sometimes it's like, you never know with like a person it's like, Some people are easier to interview than others and like it's just so effortless to just, I feel like have you go off on these amazing ideas that you have in your brain and you express it so eloquently and yeah, excited to just keep seeing more of you in your platform. Where can we direct my audience to find you on this little corner of the internet? Yeah, wavy Davy West. That's W-A-V-E-Y D-A-V-E-Y. W-E-S-T, wavy and Davey, know, some people spell them differently. Yeah, but that's how to spell it. That's pretty much everything. That's Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, YouTube, and Twitter. I'm not calling it X, it's still Twitter. And then for my professional website, I'm a freelance writer, usually copywriting. It's newtonote.com, N-E-W-T, N-O-T-E.com. as in like little salamander type creatures. So yeah, that's where to find me and come say hi. Come say what's up. Thank you for listening to me. Anyone watching and listening, you for listening to me ramble and just, you know, talk. Well, thank you so much. Hopefully I'll see you next time. Thanks so much for having me.