81. Tending to the fire of our dreams - Let's talk about perfectionism.

✦ Today in the Meadow, we chat all about how perfectionism keeps us from the life we are here to live. 

✦ How weekly non-negotiables help tend to the fire of our dreams, 

✦ How to build the moment to flow down the river of your dreams. 

✦ The fear of self-expression and how to bust through resistance

✦ The difference between resistance and misalignment, and so much more! 

LIONS GATE JOURNALING PROMPTS 

1. What is one weekly creative non-negotiable you can commit to that will keep the fire of your creations alive?

2. If you didn’t need anyone’s approval, what would you create, say, or pursue right now?

3. Where have I been shrinking in order to to feel safe, and what would my fullest self-expression look like?

………………………………………………
Thanks for stopping by the meadow. Thank you, I love you. I'll see ya on the next one! <3

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Transcript

0:00

Hello everybody and welcome back to In the Meadow with Kiki. I believe that every single one of us is meant to have a slice of this life beyond what our wildest dreams can imagine. And the path to that life is hidden in the very dreams that we hold in our heart, just waiting to be created. I want the meadow to be a break in the clouds, a breath of fresh air to show you what is truly possible in this life. In the meadow, we're done letting life pass us by the sidelines. Seeing the same patterns keep us in the same place month after month, year after year. My mission is to give you all the tools, resources, inspiration and ideas to light a fire under your ass to stop waiting and finally take action towards those dreams that keep you up at night. So get ready to dive into the world of manifestation, psychology, energetics, creativity and a little dash of conscious entrepreneurship so that you have all the tools that you need to step into your next level dream reality. So join me as we walk down the path of a life beyond our wildest dreams all through the portal of the meadow. Let's go. everybody and welcome back to In The Metta With Kiki. I am so happy to be here and I'm so happy you're here and welcome to another episode. It feels so good to sit down with you guys and record and chat and connect. I freaking love this podcast. I swear to God, it's been such a crazy freaking summer. So busy, just so much energy. This- And retrograde and Leo has been absolutely bonkers. I saw a meme on Instagram that was like, how do normal people like survive when they don't even know what's going on in the stars? Cause I know that everyone's just going through a lot of crazy shit right now. And we're almost on the other side of this mortuary and retrograde, which if that resonates with you, awesome. If not, no worries. But yeah, I'm excited to come chat. There's a lot of things I want to talk about that I feel like we all need here now that we're already past the halfway point of this year. And yeah, let's just get right into it. So the first thing I want to talk about is how... Frickin stuck we can get through perfectionism and lack of momentum. I swear to God I feel like momentum is just like the one subject that we can come back to every single frickin episode because it is everything and Perfectionism is what keeps us from maintaining that flow in that momentum We need to figure out a way to tend to the spark and to the flame and the fire of our creativity and our creation. And I can confidently say that one of the biggest things that we can do is really go up against our perfectionism. and find a way to break through it and not let it stop us from living the life that we are here to live. Perfectionism is exhausting and you know in very very small doses it might make you create better work but I would say 95 % of the time if it's bad enough that it's actually perfectionism it's gonna weigh you down and keep you from doing the things that you're here to do in this world. I saw this quote that I want to read to you guys and it goes, Perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway, and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you and have a lot more fun while doing it. But it's funny, because if you really dig into what perfectionism is, it's obviously just like a protection mechanism. The idea of putting ourselves out there and creating and putting our work into the world is the most vulnerable thing and it's a hell of a lot easier to just not, right? And so it's like when we get stuck in these perfectionism patterns, it's like our brain just being like, well, like we're going to do it. We have all these plans. We have this dream of doing it. We want to create this thing and do that thing. but we're just gonna do it right because we have good taste and we're gonna do it the right way, but it's just excruciating putting yourself in this creative chokehold when we lean on waiting for things to be just right to doing them. Because then the list of things that you want to do grows and grows and grows and grows and the momentum slows and slows and slows until it just freezes and it just like deteriorates and you don't have anything left to work with because like eventually the ideas that you have they need that spark and the momentum to be created. The longer that you put things off, the longer the energy begins to fade and then it's not really what you're meant to be creating anymore. So it just kind of gets like lost into the ethers. I mean, obviously that's not the case for everything. There's lots of things that you can like re-spark from the past that you wanted to do, like dreams from the past that you wanted to create. But in general, you know, it's like take whatever thing that you're creating. There's probably many parts of this thing that you need to complete. And if you're going to let your perfectionism just stop you from doing any of it, then you drown in it. And then new ideas don't even have space to be formed or they do become formed and then you don't take action on those and it's just like this endless cycle of waiting and now obviously you know not everyone is gonna relate completely to this I know there's a lot of people out there who are doing the damn thing and putting themselves out there but I think perfectionism can still like affect all of us in one way or another I think I'm talking really directly to the people who are just kind of like letting themselves be stuck Especially like you know summer is a crazy time. There's a lot of things happening It's freaking hot right now in my apartment, and it is so hot. I'm making bone broth Right now which is like a crazy idea because it's so freaking hot in my apartment, but like just energetically It's like it can be overwhelming. You know to really sit down and like commit But I think that that's where I have found the most medicine to fix this perfectionism is to create non-negotiables within your And now the non-negotiables are gonna change, know, they're gonna ebb and flow depending on the season of life that you're in But I look back on the first two years of my podcast the first year of my podcast and how I promised Myself I made a commitment that I was gonna publish one podcast a week for an entire year and that there was no if-ands or buts and I was gonna freakin do it because I knew that if I didn't have that time frame I would never have gone past the first episode or maybe I'd go through one episode and and probably not upload another one for five months or ever. And so I look at the season of life that I am right now and like obviously you guys have noticed like I haven't been as consistent with the podcast and I'm really working towards finding a way to maintain that consistency because. I know how much this podcast means to you guys and the messages I've been getting it's been so heartwarming that somehow like the views haven't slowed down which just gives me chills like I am so grateful for every single one of you guys who sit here in the meta with me every single week and who appreciate and love the things that we're here to talk about and the ones who are like going back to listen to past episodes the ones that the people who send me messages on instagram about it like I read every single one of them and yeah you guys have no idea how much means to me so thank you thank you thank you thank you but yeah i feel like energetically like i know how much this podcast means the world to me and my viewers and i have had a harder time maintaining that consistency but i look back on that first year where i was like well there wasn't a question like i just did it you know i release every thursday and if it was wednesday night 1145 a.m. in the middle of night I would get my microphone out and I would record and I would let the inspiration find me I would create the space no matter how hard it felt no matter how sticky I felt no matter how uninspired I felt Showed the fuck up and I made the space for the creativity and inspiration to flow through and it would take a longer than other times Sometimes I'd be so inspired. I would just like sit down and grab a microphone and hit record other times I needed to like Deeply like lean into it I had to light my incense and stretch on my yoga mat turn the lights down put some nice music on Read a little bit meditate a little bit journal and then suddenly boom like the idea would come to me It would happen now, of course like it's not always happen there's gonna be some times where you just need to take a step back and just like let yourself like recombobulate and settle and rest for the inspiration to come back and your commitment doesn't have to be a podcast every week that is a big commitment that's a big thing to try to do but whatever that non-negotiable is You need to figure out what that is for yourself. So I want you to journal on that tonight You know, I want you to really think about like what can one non-negotiable be that is accessible and attainable? That i'm actually gonna do because you don't want to be putting some crazy non-negotiables that are like So much work that you're gonna get so resentful of that commitment that you're gonna burn out You'll do it for a couple weeks and you're never gonna do it again. Like we don't want that We want to slowly gradually build the momentum to start taking out bigger bites of what we want to create and so I want you to really think about like what that non-negotiable can be and how I can make a promise to myself that I'm gonna do it. That could mean just little artist dates. That could mean just two hours a week. You know, if you're really busy, like finding an hour out of the week where you can sit down and pour yourself into your creations, your art, your business, whatever it is, that could be non-negotiable. Or it could be a certain amount of posts on Instagram a week, or it could be a story a day, or it could be a writing session. It could be a newsletter, you know, it can be... write one song, whatever it is, something that you can commit to to keep your creative juices flowing, it gets easier and easier and easier. I do not know how to explain to you more that like somehow the more work you put in, the easier it gets. You'd expect it to be the opposite, like, oh, well, if I only do one thing a month, then like, it'll be so easy because I can just make sure that I always can do that thing. That's never the case. Like if you wait too long in between each... moment of creation, it's like you gotta get your wheels turning to get into the flow. And so when you spend too much time away from your work and your art, it's so much harder. I love the analogy that I always mention where it's just like, momentum is like that snowball. And... At first, you haven't been down the mountain, making your way up it is so hard and it gets heavier and heavier and heavier. But then the moment you start flowing, the snowball keeps building momentum that you're just going, you're just flowing. And it just becomes this habit and routine, this habitual process that your subconscious mind is on your side and it starts happening without your conscious awareness. know, it's like, you're just, you know, I'll take my podcast for example. When I am actually committing to doing an episode every single week It just is what I do and so throughout the week the ideas will come to me I'll listen to a podcast and I'll be like, this is this episode's week podcast episode Like I'll talk about this one here or this quote will be great for this week's episode You know, whereas like when you spend too far away time away from it it starts blurring and it starts being more just like foggy and um, yeah, I just feel like perfectionism is always going to be the thing that keeps you from the non-negotiable. But when you have that non-negotiable, you're not giving perfectionism the power. If you commit to writing a page of your book every day, it doesn't have to be the best page you've ever written. But if you wait until you can write the best page you've ever written, you're never going to get the frickin' book done. But when you write page by page, day in by day out, You just start flowing and it comes out of you. It comes into your dreams. It comes into your morning meditations You'll be at work or you'll be at home or wherever you'll be watching a TV show and then boom the idea for the next page comes through because you're in that rhythm, you know, we are beings that work in rhythms and we get to program our consciousness into the direction of what we want to be creating and what we want to be doing when you're focusing on the lack and the frustration and the lack of You're just living on that wavelength. You're living in that energy and you're gonna attract more things of that energy. You're gonna look at examples of your life for how you're not showing up and you're gonna put so much more meaning to that. think that so much shame and guilt can be built up around not showing up in the way that we want to show up. And it's just so freaking heavy. But we need to remember that we are not the person that we were yesterday. We are not the person that we were a set Yes, we are operating on programs that take a little bit to interrupt, to change, but we have to remember that every single new day is a new day that we get to choose the person that we want to be and the person that we want to become. Every single day and every single moment we get to recognize the patterns. and shoes again and again and again and again and again and we're gonna go through seasons where we are really not showing up and it feels like we're going backwards but the awareness of that and the fact that you can even recognize that is so huge because I would argue that most of the population on this earth goes their whole life on autopilot never even acknowledging what a pattern is it's just their life and so being a deeply aware person and cultivating self-reflection and cultivating the awareness of your patterns is difficult and sometimes heavy work, but it is so huge that you were even able to do it and I think it's also like part of the shame and guilt that happens is that I think the people who are the most self-aware who can recognize them doing the patterns and doing it anyways, it's like so excruciating because you're like, okay, I see what you're doing like Why the fuck are you doing this? Like let's stop this pattern. So whenever we're like aware enough to recognize it, but we still freaking do it It's so difficult and I think that is also why we can be so hard on ourselves but you got to look at that as a positive and such an uplifting truth where We can be so hard on ourselves like it can be such a scary place to be in our brains No matter how positive some of the most positive people that I know Can be the most hard on themselves and the most insecure and the most internally struggling with their self-concepts it feels like it's so real. The voice in our head has been following us our whole lives and so no wonder we believe it when it speaks to us. we have to remember that we have to separate that internal, incessant chatter, negative self-talk from the truth of who we really are and from our being, the truth of our being, of our higher self. Our higher selves are sitting within us, just waiting to be carved out. the moment we let down the small version of ourselves. know, like, acknowledging that what we want to create is so fucking needed in this world no matter what it is, no matter who you are, no matter how big your audience, whether it's one person or a million people. There's no difference in the worthiness of what is needed to be let out into the world. Your voice is medicine. Your creations are medicine. It is magic. And the world desperately needs it. And I know that can sound dramatic, but it's true. That is what we're meant to do. Everything you see in your reality, everything that is good, that has... evolved humanity was created by one person who had the guts to do it. And it's like the world is a scary place right now in some ways. know? Specifically because the media is showing us all the freaking scary things. Like things can be heavy, things can be hard. There's so much shit out there in the world. We are being fed all of this garbage of the worst parts of reality. The people who are running this country are just fucking idiots. We need to be creating and putting our magic into the world. It radiates when you have the guts and the courage to do the damn thing, to put the song out, to make the creation, to create the art, to start the business, like whatever it is, you have no idea how much your dream ripples out and impacts everyone around you in ways that you can see and the ways that you can't see. And it feels like What else are we put on this world to do other than that? You know, like, then to follow our heart's desires and be creative and put our magic out into the world. And I think that like one of the things that is gonna... keep all of us into the sustainable long run of this work is by focusing on the process, not the result. Finding ways to sustain yourself through whatever work that you need to do to keep your creative juices flowing. But you know, like How can you just keep going because you're loving the process, you're loving the creation aspect of it. You're not doing it because you want to get a certain reaction or feedback or validation. Although that is a lot easier said than done. But like, how can we just fall in love with the act of creation, period? Because when you fall in love with the act of creation, Everything else happens effortlessly because we are effortlessly doing it day in day out brick by brick moment by moment. That is how you find sustainable long-winded success because you're not doing it and getting frustrated and giving up when you're not getting the results that you want and now all of us, me included are a culprit of, you know, letting the external validation stop us or keep us from being inspired or keep us from creating. I think that like this new age of... technology and of the internet has really skewed what creativity really is. You know, like even 15 years ago it wasn't like this, you know? I would go as far as to like 10 years ago, you know? Like in the teens of the internet, like it was still more of this art form, you know? Like of course like going viral on YouTube and whatever was like a goal for lots of people, but like it still felt like it was like this space for creativity, for the sake of creativity. People had higher attention space. You know, but I feel like you look at any of the creators that you see out there who have found their success They have found their success because they never gave up They just kept doing it because they are so in love with their freaking craft that they couldn't see themselves doing anything else You know, like how can you align yourself with a path and a creative pursuit that lights a fire in your soul so deeply that you can't help but keep showing up because you just can't imagine doing anything else. And now that can be easier said than done in a lot of ways. And we go through different seasons of life where like one thing might incredibly light you up in one season and it might not as much the second time that you go around it, you know? But I think it's that conscious awareness of recognizing when that is, if it's really the fire has been dimmed because feeling that passion for it anymore or is it because you're not getting the validation that you want anymore? You know it's like that slippery slope and that weird dance of recognizing what's resistance and what's misalignment and what you're meant to be doing that just feels really scary and hard and you have a lot of resistance to to it or like what is just not in alignment for you and I think that the only way that you are able to find the answers to that is that you just got to keep showing up. You got to keep doing the damn thing and pivoting and adjusting and really fine-tuning your unique imprint on this world and for the things that you want to create. So yeah, that's my TED talk today. We are, yeah, we are... Getting close to the end of Mercury in retrograde. It's been so chaotic, this energy and this time. And tomorrow is the 8-8 Alliance Gate Portal. And so I want to leave you guys with a couple of journaling prompts that you can use to tap into this energy, as well as the topics that we talked about in this podcast today. You can also find them on my Instagram as well, at kikismetto. But yeah, I will leave you with three journaling prompts that I want you guys to get into, including The first one that we chatted about earlier in the day, was, what is one weekly creative non-negotiable that you can commit to that will keep the fire of your creations alive? Now remember, We are human beings and our energies are going to ebb and flow in different seasons of our life. But it's about that conscious awareness of recognizing where we are and what our capacity is and still having that non-negotiable that might change depending on the season of life that you're in. regardless, there is a non-negotiable, you know? Same way that your non-negotiable could be like going to the gym at least once a week or going on a walk at least once a week or every morning, whatever that is. What is your creative non-negotiable of what you can put in, the reps that you can put in for the things that you want to create so that you can be building your dreams brick by brick, moment by moment on the path to life that you want to create for yourself. Number two is, if you didn't need anyone's approval, what would you create, say, or pursue right now? This is an interesting one that I feel like doesn't come through the conscious awareness very easily. I think that we don't realize how limited that we can be. with these stories that we hold about what's expected of us and what people expect of us or what people are comfortable about us, you know? Like there's some different modalities, for example, that I am interested in that I subconsciously fear people's opinions about that might feel a little bit more woo or a little like pseudoscience when in reality there's so much magic that can be had within these different modalities. yeah, like is there anything that you're holding back from because... you are actually thinking too much about people outside of you or your family or your friends or the people online, you know, so really tune into what your heart's desire is and what you want to create and what you want to say and how to express yourself without the fear of other people's opinions. And this leads me to my third one, which is very similar but different. Where have I been drinking in order to feel safe and what would my fullest expression look like? But yeah, although it's similar, still stands on its own because... I think it's so easy to stay small and stay quiet and not take up space and not be uncomfortable and not make a scene. Just be easy by not expressing yourself to your fullest capacity, whether it's out of fear of judgment or being seen or whatever it is. How have you been shrinking and staying small in order to feel safe? And how can you just unleash your creativity and your self-expression and put it out into the world? No matter what people say or if they don't say anything, if it doesn't get the reach or validation that you're expecting. Like how can you push yourself to be more just courageous and feel the fear of expression and do it anyways? Because even though it feels safer to say small I promise you it's excruciating in the long run. It feels so heavy when The things that we want to create with better it within us cannot be let out It is the most painful thing on earth. I think that's dramatic. It's not the most people thing on earth But you know what I mean? Like it's excruciating as an artist You cannot create, it feels like drowning, I say it again and again again and I cannot say that enough. So it might suck putting yourself out there and having the balls to just express yourself even when you feel the fear of being judged but just do it in this Lionsgate portal. Let yourself walk through this portal of expression and step into your next level self. Alright guys, I love you so much. It's been so great to have you guys here with me in the meadow chit-chatting. you like the episode, please reach out to me on Instagram at Keys Meadow. download my free resources, my magnetic morning ritual, or my path to purpose notebook in the show notes below. If you enjoyed this episode, please feel free to send to a friend. And yeah, you guys are the best! I'm so stoked to be here with you guys. I love these chats, I love hanging out, I love talking about all this magic, and hopefully I lit a fire under your ass to go out there and do the damn thing. Alright, love you guys, chat soon. Bye!